A Maniac Scattering Dust
by Fractaledsymmetry
Summary: Post graphic novel, Dan mourning the loss of his friend, inspired by Tennyson's "In Memorium."
1. Chapter 1

Note: This fic is based on select sections of Tennyson's "In Memorium." The title and some sentences of every chapter are direct allusions to one of the sections. Continuity is as continuity does. I do not own "In Memorium" or _Watchmen_.

Dance With Death

Snow, not even Antartica, is cold when you're on Cloud Nine. In fact, when you're sharing your owl snow cape with the girl of your dreams, it's rather warm.

On the other hand, the bloody remnants of your best friend could make a tropical rainforest freeze. That's when you remember you're in Antartica.

Daniel could do nothing but stare. He reached his hand toward the red stains sitting in front of him like some perverted inkblot. He didn't notice when the coat slid from his shoulders, he just kept reaching out his hand as if reaching through time to pull Rorschach back before he died. Because Daniel should have been there to stop it and he wasn't. He was...

Laurie put a hand Daniel's shoulder and he looked at her. Was this his punishment? Did gaining Laurie mean he had to lose Rorschach?

There was nothing left of his best friend. _Nothing_. And Daniel wondered where that friend was now. He remembered the man he had first met, the man who had believed in God, who had had confidence he would rise to higher things. Daniel had been taught about God, but...

He kicked the snow. He never uttered a sound, and no tears fell from his eyes, but he plowed his feet through the powder as if performing some strange dance of sorrow until he had turned the place of Rorschach's death into red flurries that rained back down like a snowglobe gone wrong. Daniel stood still let the flakes fall on him, the only sign that Walter Kovacs had been loved by anyone.

The plummet from Cloud Nine is a bloody cold fall, and Daniel couldn't take the temperature forever. Darkness swallowed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Blah. Not much here in any meaning of the term, just crammed a bunch of imagery from the section into a little snapshot, mostly it's stream of consciousness sort of stuff from Dan. And erm... happy birthday Rorschach.

Little Lives of Men

The man in the cemetary wasn't bringing flowers or standing near a particular headstone. If he wasn't dressed in black, he wouldn't have looked like he belonged there are all.

Daniel stared at the headstones, wondering how to bury someone when there was nothing left to bury, wondering how to honor someone who no one knew or cared had died. _And in the long run_, he thought, _no one notices the dead. If it weren't for those who cared for us, our lives would pass without consequence, as if we had never existed. _How can you remember a person when no one else will? How can you prove he existed?

But Rorschach _did _exist, dammit because Daniel had been there to care for him. Daniel_ was _the living proof... the only proof. And if he couldn't do _something_, if he couldn't cling to his friend, it would be as if his friend had done nothing, lost among the lives of all the others.

Drops of water slid down his face, warming his cheeks. Daniel hadn't cried until now, until he was broken by the weight of a broken life and his desire, no his _need_ to keep it... alive.

He wasn't that strong, that stubborn. If he had been, Rorschach would have been here, the one he had become partners with... Walter, that had been his name, hadn't it? Hell, Walter had been dying for years, and Walter had done nothing. He'd always done nothing. He just let the emptiness eat him alive, and he still did nothing. He just stood in the cemetary as the sun set and the red leaves fell from the branches above him. He felt like he could stand there for the rest of his life and beyond, like the emptiness had turned him into a statue. And someone walking by might have agreed he was.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: This is an AU in which Dan dies before Rorschach.

Not Here

The drizzling rain falls on a street empty but for a short redheaded man gazing up at a dark house. It is the first time Walter has looked at Dan's house since he died, and the lack of lights makes Walter sadder. Late as it is (or early, as the sky is growing light) Dan would have been up at this hour, a welcoming hand. But he was a hand that clasp'd no more.

Walter hadn't been able to sleep that night, and at last had given up and like a guilty thing creeped to his old partner's house. He didn't know what he expected to find there, but as he stares at it now, he is only reminded that his friend is not here, but far away.

As the sun rises, the street purrs to life. Curtains open, people come out to start their cars or observe the unpleasant weather and retreat back to their houses. No one notices the man who can't take his eyes off the one house in which there is no motion. He suspects that most of them didn't know the man who no longer dwells there, don't know he's gone.

With a sudden shiver, Walter turns away unseen and alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: This one takes place shortly after Daniel stopped fighting crime.

Is This The End

Daniel watched the owl lift off from the tree and wanted to follow after her. Maybe that was why he had done this in the first place, the feeling of flight. It gave him an excuse to build Archie anyway.

He imgained the owl searching the street for trouble, like he used to, and perhaps she would spy his partner... former partner. Dan had, after all, hung up his suit. But he still imagined being out there. He thought of flying over the city imagined taking off from the secret tunnel where Archie came out and sailing into the sky.

He was almost tempted to do it, just to see everything from above again. And at some point, he would stop because one of those people down there looked familiar. He walked the right way. And he wore that trenchcoat and suit that Dan could almost smell even from where he was. Or was he just remembering? And he'd think "is this the end of all my care?" and circle around to see the mask. And once he knew it was his partner, he would drop to the ground and they could patrol together, like in the old days, before the Keene Act and before Rorschach had started acting so strange... Daniel still couldn't pinpoint why or even how he had changed, only that he had. And when they were done, he would come home in Archie and... and...

Daniel looked down at his watch. He'd been sitting there daydreaming for an hour. It was typical of these first restless nights since he had stopped fighting. Daniel had dreamed he might be glad about it. Perhaps he would at last get a full night's sleep. If anything, he slept less. That was dreaming for you.


End file.
